Think life is unfair? Try this one on for size!

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By Chris Benguhe

In 1992, I graduated from college dreaming of becoming a writer. That same year Franky Carrillo went to jail for murder — sentenced to life for a crime he didn’t commit.

I spent the last 20 years worrying about money, success and dating. Franky spent it enduring a cruel and unjust fate.

On Jan. 18, 1991, 16-year-old Francis Carrillo was at home with his father in Lynwood, Calif., watching television when 41-year-old Donald Sarpy was shot to death in a drive-by shooting. Six witnesses swore they saw Franky pull the trigger.

The next day Franky was arrested. But innocent, and definitely naive, Franky believed he would soon be released. “I figured after 72 hours they would realize it was the wrong guy,” recalled Franky.

But a month later he was tried as an adult, and after a first trial ended in a hung jury, a second jury convicted him. A judge sentenced Franky to two life terms.

“I went into denial and then shock,” explained Franky. “I thought for sure once a judge heard my side of the story, he would be convinced I didn’t do it.”

For the first few years Franky prayed every day for an end to this nightmare. “I think I shifted my hope from the judicial system to my faith,” explained Franky. “I was just in the darkness praying for God to knock the walls down and get me out of there.”

But after a beating by a guard left him within inches of death, he stopped praying for freedom. “I needed to mature in my prayers,” explained Franky. “I started asking instead for patience, for understanding, for knowledge.”

God answered his prayers, inspiring him to live a meaningful life behind bars until the truth was discovered, the kind of life that would send a message that he wasn’t guilty.

“I knew I wasn’t a criminal,” explained Franky. “So I decided not to act like one, even though I was behind bars. I could live and behave like a normal man. Then I believed eventually someone would see the truth. I had to persevere until God could eventually bring the right people into my life to help me.”

God’s mysterious ways

One of those people was an unexpected son. Months before he went to prison, his girlfriend became pregnant. Now what once seemed like a problem was his greatest blessing. “My son kept me going,” revealed Franky. “I promised him from the moment he was born I would always be there for him. That was a huge part of my life. I made a point to write him a letter every week, to see him, to work and make money for him. He was a driving force that kept me going in there.”

Franky worked continuously behind bars cooking, sewing, ironing and cutting hair, to keep his mind and body busy, and to save up whatever he could of the 15 cents an hour wages to buy whatever he could for his son. He studied, earning his GED and taking whatever classes were available and even helped to teach classes. And he prayed.

Then one day a teacher he had worked as an assistant for told him she was retiring. He made one simple request — tell his story. When she found herself at a book signing with a lawyer from the Innocence Project, she did. One meeting with Franky was all it took for the lawyer to take on the case.

It took five years, but eventually five of those witnesses admitted they never saw Franky commit the crime. And three months ago while I was frantically trying to buy a comfortable bed, Franky Carrillo was standing before a judge, praying once again for the patience, the courage and the strength to handle the judge’s ruling on the new evidence.

The next day Franky was free.

Franky has a lot to learn in his new life, like how to find a job, how to date and how to manage a checking account. But there’s one thing he doesn’t have to learn, something he knows more than I, and more than most people.

That God works in mysterious ways, and we don’t always get the life we want, but we must pray for the strength, the wisdom and the faith to live those lives nobly.

Until one day when we see God’s hand in the one we were dealt.

June 22, 2011 · Posted in Culture and Values, Faith and Inspiration, Health and Wellness, crime  
　　　　

God is listening — we need to give, receive, and ask!

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Last month, just a few weeks before Thanksgiving, I walked into a coffee shop I frequent and the ever-effervescent girl behind the counter was ashen face, with smears of wiped-away tears revealing what her brave face was otherwise trying to hide. She was in trouble.

“What’s wrong?” I asked sincerely and quietly, making sure we had a private moment.

“I can’t pay my rent this month, and I think my daughter and I will be kicked out of our apartment. I really don’t know what to do.” She went on to explain the personal series of unforeseen events that had led to a shortfall this month, almost too ashamed to elaborate.

Luckily I know a few things about how to get help in such situations. I told her to contact her local St. Vincent de Paul which assists those in short-term financial need with help paying their rents or mortgages as well as for utilities and groceries.

Things worked out. Thank God I asked. But what if I hadn’t? And what if she hadn’t told me?

A couple of years back, I wrote about the importance of asking for help. Since then the world has been turned upside down financially, and this Christmas there are even more people in need in this nation. If you are one of them, don’t be afraid, ashamed or just plain too shy to ask for help.

God wants you to get help if you need it. In fact, if you don’t ask, you are doing yourself, God and the rest of the world a big disservice.

Here’s why. Answer these simple questions: Do you enjoy helping others? Do you grow in your spirit and in your relationship with God and others when you help? Of course you do. What would happen to you if others never allowed you to help them? That would be denying you all the grace that you receive through loving others.

You should be proud of your need. Because it allows people to help you, and enables God to work through them in your life, bestowing grace upon them as well.

So if you don’t allow others to help you, you are denying them their access to that same grace. And the only way that others really know you need help is if you ask for it.

God created us to live in community with each other. He designed us to need each other. I am not smart enough to understand everything God did and does, but I do know what is in the Bible. And the idea that we are created in the image of God and that all human life is sacred and innately valuable is irrefutable.

If all that is true, do you think that God wants you to disrespect yourself or subject yourself to abuse? Denying yourself the love and support of others who God works through is not respecting yourself and others.

Now all of this is not a rubber stamp for all those children out there to spend the next couple of weeks nagging their parents for all the toys their hearts desire. I am clearly talking about those who are in true human need reaching out to others.

And that also doesn’t mean you cannot give at the same time as you receive in whatever way you can. Though you may not believe it right now, you reaching out may allow someone else to talk about their needs, to share with you their feelings or simply to cultivate a new relationship or deepen an old one in a way that will help that person now or in the future.

For instance, a few weeks later I rushed out of the house without my wallet — and the coffee was on the house.

Merry Christmas!

Anyone who would like to contribute to the Society of St. Vincent de Paul may do so by calling (602) 850-6737. Those needing help this Christmas can contact their local parish SVdP

December 29, 2010 · Posted in Culture and Values, Economy, Faith and Inspiration, Uncategorized  
　　　　

Your Money or Your Life- Mugged at Gunpoint!

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Last week a teenage boy stuck a gun to my head. The peach fuzz on his face was still not mature enough to make a real beard, but the gun was all too real.

As I stared down the shiny black, cold-steel barrel of the gun, I wasn’t as scared as I was shocked — that a boy this young could be so desperate and so willing to destroy life.

It was just after dusk, when I parked my car at the edge of the parking lot at a local restaurant in Central Phoenix, only a few blocks from my home.

I emerged from the car and only made it a few steps before a young, wiry youth, donning a black-hooded sweatshirt pounced on me, pointing a small caliber gun in my face and screaming at me.

I had just given a teen talk at a local church a few nights earlier, and as strange as it sounds, the first thing that popped into my head was that he reminded me of one of those kids. Was this for real? Could this be some badly conceived prank? But the gun was no joke, and as I hesitated he became more irate.

I pulled a wad of five singles from my wallet and threw them at him. The flying cash distracted him long enough for me to make it into the restaurant and call the police.

Within minutes the place was swarming with cops, and half an hour later they had three suspects in custody down the street.

As a police cruiser drove me a few blocks away to where they were being held, I reflected on the whole event for the first time. I wasn’t as angry as I was sad. As I thought about the years of jail time he would receive for armed robbery, I wanted to sit this foolish boy down and drum into his brain exactly what he had done, and what he jeopardized.

What might have been

I thought about my mother who recently had a stroke and depends on me. I thought about my friends and the rest of my family who would be so extraordinarily traumatized by the event if this kid would have shot me.

I thought about his family and what they would lose if I were armed and shot him.

I thought about all the people this young man could help in the future.

I thought about the children I would never have, he would never have and all the ways the world would be deprived of one or both of us.

I know how much I have to offer; he obviously had no idea how much he could give, and he was willing to throw both of our lives away for a few dollars.

I wanted to tell him all of that and more as we neared the sea of flashing lights sitting atop the caravan of cop cars surrounding the suspects. The cruiser stopped 20 feet away, and three suspects were dragged from the back of an SUV and paraded in front of the headlights. None of them were him.

My heart sank a little. I could never look this misled youth in the eye and tell him why what he did was so insane!

But I am still here to help and to make a difference. And maybe there still is a way to get to him, by telling you to share this story with every young man and woman you know, so that they never make the same stupid mistake.

So that maybe eventually every one of them will know what he didn’t — that God created us to live, to let live, and to revel in the love that surrounds us no matter how much we have or don’t have everything we want. And that blessed mission is priceless.

November 17, 2009 · Posted in Culture and Values, Economy, Faith and Inspiration, Health and Wellness, Uncategorized, crime