One More Day Alive

The law can’t – and shouldn’t – be our moral compass!

I love it when a totally ridiculous idea catches on and threatens to completely destroy civilization as we know it. It gives me something to talk about.

The case of the $16 house in Flower Mound, Texas which blossomed all over the internet recently is the perfect example.

Last year, Kenneth Robinson paid $16 to file a one-page claim to an empty, $340,000 home in the upscale Dallas suburb, then proceeded to move in furniture, hang a “No Trespassing” sign and invite television cameras inside for a tour.

Robinson based his unusual home ownership plan on a slight misunderstanding of the basic idea of squatter’s rights which exists in most states in some form or another and in Texas is called the law of “adverse possession.” Such laws allow that if someone uses some piece of property in a clear, obvious manner and no other rightful owner challenges that for a long time (in Texas its three years), then the claimant can take legal possession. 

Nowadays, it’s used mostly for disputes over common areas or shared driveways where one neighbor unofficially abandons their maintenance or use of their side, and the other just assumes responsibility and use. At some point the law says its makes reasonable sense that the assuming owner could claim such a shared space.

But it’s not intended to allow people to steal houses!

Robinson’s misunderstanding of the law didn’t stop Bank of America from evicting this scammer, and Robinson slipped out before sunrise on the morning of his requested court hearing, which he skipped, and refused to say where he was moving next.

But not before starting a website and writing a book about how you to can cheat your way into home ownership, and even offering training sessions for would-be squatters. And while he clearly was misusing the law, Robinson appears to have inspired imitators to move into Dallas-Fort Worth area homes, even while they were still occupied by their owners.

Since then Robinson has only issued a curt sort-a-kind-a apology stating, “It’s been a huge learning experience.”

But what I really hope is that enough people hear about this story and learn from it too – that whether or not something that is obviously unethical is possibly permissible through a legal loophole doesn’t make it right.

Within minutes after his story going viral, there was an avalanche of supportive comments from all over America for good ole Kenny trying to scam the bank out of their property, many protesting his eviction.

Now I am no fan of big banks to be sure. But right is right, wrong is wrong, and a rose by any other name doesn’t equal the right to steal a house in Flower Mound, Texas.

Stealing a house by some legal loophole is almost exactly the same, morally speaking, as all the shenanigans and unethical stuff that the banks, the mortgage companies, the hedge fund crooks and all the other white collar cronies did to get us into our current economic crisis.

Most of those guys didn’t really think they were breaking laws – just stretching and creatively misinterpreting the laws or finding ways around them.

And the funny thing is that good old Kenny’s response, “It’s been a huge learning experience,” seems to be the same lackluster apology that all those folks gave as well.

Too many people are trying too hard not to break the law nowadays, but forgetting about living according to any moral responsibility to their neighbors. What if tomorrow the government said it was alright to steal and kill, should we all go out and do it?Of course not! 

There are moral principles which we should probably try to live by regardless of the law (The Ten Commandments is probably a pretty good start regardless of your religious or non-religious background).  In this country schools, families, communities, and personal morality are supposed to keep us acting far more appropriately than the law – which is designed to be the lowest, minimum standard of acceptable behavior.

But if we all abandon any morality other than the law, than we are going to be forced to keep making more and more laws to try to stop every single possible sneaky thing that humans can devise to do to hurt or take advantage of each other. That would not only be completely unfeasible, but downright depressing. I certainly don’t want to live in a nation like that.

So maybe we all need to think a little less about making more laws to stop criminal behavior and more about how to get people to take a little more pride in how they behave and pay a little more attention to respecting their fellow human beings. Thanks Kenny!

One More Day Alive is the blog of Author-Columnist-Speaker Chris Benguhe

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A couple of years ago, when all the economic madness thrust so many into the long haul of tough times that is still continuing today, I wrote a column about the value of faith and hope, and how faith was ultimately more important in the long run.

With so many of us still facing so much of the same adversity, I thought it might be a good time to remind ourselves of those two ideas and just how they might help us through these tough times.

But now rather than simply reflecting on why faith is so much more important, I thought the time was right to do a little bragging for all of you out there about how much faith you have all had through the last few years, and how powerful that faith was when it came to helping you and the rest of America survive — long after hope went into short supply.

Because while hope for better times might make it easier to keep going, it is only through faith that we can find happiness. It is only through faith that we can realize the inherent value of our lives regardless of our fortune or our misfortune.

While foreclosures are still out of control, oil and gas prices are through the roof, and of course the papers are still filled with stories of people struggling to make ends meet, faith in our families and our nation has stayed strong. And that has kept us all going, millions from coast to coast who have continued to do the right thing: to work hard at their jobs, or continue to work hard finding a job, despite how difficult it has made our lives.

While we have watched some banks and greedy corporations break the law and mismanage funds, millions of everyday Americans have continued to respect each other and the rule of law in America; there has not been a rise in crime and misbehavior; in fact there has been a decrease.

Even as our media continues to irresponsibly depress us on a daily basis with portrayals of a wayward world of war and madness void of any purpose, millions have continued to pray and worship the Lord in America; there has not been a drop in churchgoing; in fact there has been a rise!

All of that and more should not only give all of us something to cling to in the storm, it should also make us proud. It should make us realize our strength and the value of our connection to something stronger and greater than ourselves is unbreakable in America.

It should make us all realize that there is something tangibly great about this nation that goes well beyond money, prosperity, looking good, feeling good or being number one.

Though one might argue that some have given up hope that things will get better soon in this nation, we have kept our faith that it is a nation worth trying to make better.

Through faith, we realize our ultimate purpose to live for God’s love regardless of what we encounter in this world. As I said way back when all this started, we will keep going because we know that every day, every hour, every second that we spend helping spread God’s love through our own compassion, our understanding and our endurance gets all of us one step closer to making the Lord’s Prayer a reality — “Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.”

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By this time I am sure you all have received your share of holiday emails and messages reminding you all of all the things that you have to be grateful for, so I won’t bore you with another.

Since I spend most of the year telling you how great your lives are, I thought I would switch gears at this time of year, and remind you of all the things that you have to be annoyed by.

So after you are done with Christmas dinner, I want you all to take a few moments to consider the following:

All the great presents who wished you received that you didn’t. (Can you believe they actually thought you would like that junk they bought you!)

How the holidays turn mildly annoying everyday traffic into lousy logjams filled with totally rude, incompetent drivers who are capable of turning even the most loving and tolerant people into proponents of capital punishment.

The way your company cut back on the Christmas party by having everyone bring something to eat and then docked your paycheck for the time you spent at the party.

Your boss, or boss’s boss – one of them is probably a thorn in your side.

The lovely pre-holiday letter from your bank informing you of the new fees they will charging next year. Happy New Year!

GAS PRICES!!!!

That weird, annoying guy in your neighborhood who tries tirelessly to piss everybody else off – and succeeds!

Your kid’s idiot teacher who seems to know less about the subject matter than the students but insists your child is the source of all the problems in their class.

CONGRESS!

Government red tape!

Corporate greed!

Kim Kardashian – or any Kardashian!

Mindless, stupid newscasts!

Doomsayers, and anyone who finds a way to turn a normal conversation into a discussion of the Mayan calendar and the end of the world.

TAXES!

Ok, are you all pretty disgusted and fumed now? Are you ready to go postal at your local post office now? (Provided the budget cuts didn’t close that one down.)

Now take a deep breath, and think about all the people in your life who make all that crap worth putting up with.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAVE A WONDERFUL, BLESSED NEW YEAR MAKING ALL OF THEM AS HAPPY AS YOU CAN!

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Profit and public responsibility, or at least accountability, are not unrelated. In fact, maybe they are inexorably connected to each other.  But don’t just take my word for it.

The recent backlash over proposed new debit card fees by banks in America is the perfect example. The fact that those banks finally listened to the protestations of their customers is the best news yet for the future of America – and the future of capitalism.

Because the last two years have been a real test for business in America making many wonder if capitalism would survive the backlash of public protests.

But the reality is that outside of a few wacky extremists crying for outright socialism most Americans don’t oppose capitalism or profits. What they are fed up, and rightfully so, is the proliferation of unfettered GREED and the rise of an embarrassingly irresponsible corporate culture of selfishness!

Case in point: the debit card fee fiasco. This all began in September after Bank of America foolishly decided to try to nickel and dime the American public (the same American public who bailed them out with a huge stimulus just a few years ago) by adding a $5-a-month fee to use debit cards. Other banks soon announced they would do the same.

Within a few months there was a huge public outcry from customers with many threatening to leave en masse. All this finally made all the banks including Bank of America reverse their decision.

Now obviously these banks changed their minds because they realized that in this particular situation they stood to lose customers. And that would cost them more profit in the long run than they would make in the short run by adding the fees.

But maybe this is more than just an isolated case. Maybe it means that corporate America is remembering the bottom line of capitalism is not just dollars, but SENSE too – common sense that says that caring about people, about the world around you will improve your profits. That’s because people are more apt to work for and buy from companies that are nice instead of nasty.  It is proven time and time again.

Henry Ford, one of the greatest, and most successful, capitalists in American history – the father of the assembly line – purposely raised his employees’ salaries more than he needed to in order to enable them to buy his cars.  That wasn’t just because he was a nice guy. He knew it would create generations of Ford Customers that would inevitably in the long run earn the company much more than it cost in the short run. But the byproduct of that was he made a whole lot of employees happier and better off too, and he was probably the happier for it as well!

Now I do not think it is government’s responsibility to make these companies act morally. (The exception is when the whole game is rigged for instance in the case of collusion or monopoly.) We need free will and free markets in order for moral decisions to be possible. God does not make us do the right thing, and neither should government.  

I truly believe eventually the people will get tired of being taken advantage of, and they will rise up and make these companies do the right thing with the power of their wallets.

But if everything I have said is true then it begs the question: Why have there been so many short-sighted selfish companies in the last few decades in America? 

The answer is simple – stupidity!  If everyone (the companies, the employees and the consumers) prospers more in the long run, by running a considerate and socially responsible business, then only a fool would do differently.

But thank God some of those fools are beginning to wise up.

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There’s been a lot of talk lately about how our mounting debt crisis is going to saddle our children and our grandchildren with great difficulty.

Well, thank God we are finally talking about our children. Now maybe we can start talking about all the ways we need to help them right now as well as in the future.

Twenty years ago the first article I ever wrote professionally was an opinion article in the local daily newspaper that was inspired by an interview I did with the director of St. Mary’s Food Bank. He informed me the hunger rate in children was a whopping 25 percent.

It was unfathomable to me that a quarter of our children could be going to bed hungry every night. Unlike adults, children are helpless to help themselves out of such a situation.
So why would we possibly allow such a situation to continue?

In 2011, the state of our children is still in jeopardy. There is still a 20 percent hunger rate in children. The good news is that’s down 5 percent; the bad news is that it’s still too high. And when you add to that the deficits children face in the availability of health care and education, it begs the question why.

I dare to be optimistic and suggest it’s not because we can’t change it, but maybe it’s because we are way too accustomed to feeling good in our society — at the expense of our children. But a little attitude shift could change everything.

Just look at the number of children who have been sacrificed to abortion — 42 million globally each year. The number one reason given for wanting an abortion in this country is not hardship but inconvenience.

But a friend who had an abortion 10 years ago because she thought a child would get in the way of her life recently confided in me how differently she now sees things. After a lifetime of pain, suffering and loneliness, she realizes the life she could have had with that child, not to mention the life she could have created and fostered would more than outweigh the loss of her “freedom.”

Look at the huge surge of drug use in the “if-it-feels-good -do-it” 1960s, ’70s and ’80s in America, and then look at the fact that since 1986, more than 70 percent of the child welfare cases in America have been shown to be caused in some part by substance abuse.

My prayers are with any individual who has ever suffered from a drug addiction. But I hope with all my heart that anyone with a child comes to their senses and realizes that the life of their child is at stake every time they give in to their addiction.

Maybe we don’t all need as many comforts, as many excuses, as many vices, as many conveniences, or to “feel good” as much as we think.

Thirty years ago my Fr. turned down a high-paying job in Los Angeles because I had asthma and he knew the smog would kill me. My mother sacrificed a career as an opera singer to be a mother to three children. They knew their most important job was being parents.

Ten years ago I interviewed a retired chief petty officer and nurse living on modest wages who decided to adopt 10 foster children because they knew those children needed them.

Maybe what we need — and what will serve us even more in the long run — is if we step up to the plate to take care of our kids, to give them the education, the resources and the attention they need, even it means sacrificing a little of what we think we need.

Then hopefully all this talk about the future of our children will make its way into the present.

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As Labor Day appraoches so does too the unofficial end of summer and happily the end of the summer heat. The long weekend is celebrated with backyard barbecues and pool parties, as families and friends gather together for one last chance to have some summer fun, while football fans everywhere celebrate the beginning of football season.

But do any of us really stop and think about what Labor Day is really about and why it was important enough to be a holiday in the first place? Well, the first Labor Day in the United States became a federal holiday in 1894 as a way for the government to reconcile with unions and citizens in general, after workers were killed by U.S. Marshals during the Pullman Strike, 15 years earlier.

The killing was of course one of those tragic and unintended mishaps, but it made many in the country realize that there needed to be some safeguards installed in our system that would help to protect laborers from exploitation and abuse. Making Labor Day an official holiday was meant to signal that our government recognized that the everyday laborer, no matter how menial the job, was important, had an innate value, and was worthy of all the same human rights of business owners, gentry and those in government. And that they would never again be forgotten or mistreated.

In other words, Labor Day is supposed to remind us not only of the value of hard work, but that all those who do it are human beings, not just cogs in a machine.

But this Labor Day maybe it’s an even more poignant reminder for a very important and overlooked particular group of workers: the unemployed. Those struggling to find work are just as important, valuable and meaningful as everyone else — and it is important to remember that in the search for new work.

Helping each other

With the unemployment rate hovering above 9 percent, we all need to help those without work to find it. It’s our Christian duty to help them.

Because when we are not able to work, we feel less than human somehow, less than involved, less than important. And nobody should ever feel that.

Just as the federal government eventually recognized that every worker needed to be treated as a human being with human rights, not just as a means to production, we must all remember that our value is not just what we can produce in our labor.

We derive our value from God, and from the knowledge that we were created to love and be loved. One of the ways we can do that is by working and helping society with something that it needs. Another one of the ways that we realize that value is by letting people love us and to let them experience the divinely ordained joy that comes from that. There should never be any shame involved in needing others.

So if you are looking for work, reach out to anyone you know and proudly tell them you want to work, and ask if they know anyone who needs someone of your exquisite and unique value.

And for all of you who know anyone who needs work, it is your duty to help them to regain their feelings of worth and value, and to help them find work.

Times are tough all over, and we all need to stop thinking that “help” is a four letter word. We all need to work together in every way we can to celebrate the value of humanity — and that’s something we can really celebrate this Labor Day.

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Let’s start the year off right and realize how incredible all of us are. When push comes to shove, we love more than hate, we help more than hurt, and we care more than we care less about others. Let’s remember all those wonderful people out there who helped all the rest of us wonderful people make it through another year.

I have more of an opportunity than most to see that outpouring of love by writing stories about people reaching out to others, and giving talks to people from all walks of life all over America who tell me their wonderful accounts of those who rose to meet the needs of others.

Like the outpouring of emails and supportive notes I received after my last column when I wrote of the young mother who almost wound up on the streets because of a temporary financial hardship. Not only did so many of you sympathize with her, but one reader even offered her a free house to live in for a few months if she needed to get back on her feet.

Or the young lady who came to one of my talks and spoke passionately about her financial woes after losing her father, her marriage and her job, all within a few months. Within minutes she was embraced by several in the crowd who offered guidance, understanding and job references. Later in the year she showed up at a totally unrelated Catholic gathering brimming with joy – and employment – having found solidarity and support from the many who reached out to help in the Catholic community.

With times tough all over, the cynics would expect self-serving people to be hoarding, not offering, whatever blessings they had to others.

But therein lies the rub. We are independent in America, but by no means selfish. We are constantly looking for ways to help others, especially when the chips are down.

That’s why giving to charity continued to be upwards of $300 billion last year yet again.

That’s why the crime rate is down, even as unemployment and frustrations are up.

That’s why the divorce rate is down, as families realize it’s better to stick together.

And that’s why, despite all the troubles and tribulations, we continue to love each other, to help each other, and to spur each other on as if we were inexorably connected – as if we were all part of something bigger than ourselves.

We are part of something more – it’s called the Body of Christ.

When we remember that, we rediscover our reason for being and our courage to push on amidst the steady stream of pain, suffering and struggle.

So as we continue to fight the good fight, let’s not forget what we are fighting for. Here’s a helpful reminder, a list of five questions to refresh your memory. Fill it out and fill up your life with all the love that’s already there.

Happy New Year!

Road map to happiness

• Who do you love (pick one person) and why are they so special to you?
• What’s the nicest thing anybody ever did for you and how did it inspire or help you?
• What’s the kindest thing you ever did for anybody else that helped to make their day or their life better? How has helping that person enhanced your own life?
• What is something positive that you saw somebody else do yesterday or today to help someone else which filled your heart with happiness? It could be a family member, a friend or even a complete stranger who you felt made somebody happy.
• Who loves you and how do they show it? How has their love changed your life?

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Last month, just a few weeks before Thanksgiving, I walked into a coffee shop I frequent and the ever-effervescent girl behind the counter was ashen face, with smears of wiped-away tears revealing what her brave face was otherwise trying to hide. She was in trouble.

“What’s wrong?” I asked sincerely and quietly, making sure we had a private moment.

“I can’t pay my rent this month, and I think my daughter and I will be kicked out of our apartment. I really don’t know what to do.” She went on to explain the personal series of unforeseen events that had led to a shortfall this month, almost too ashamed to elaborate.

Luckily I know a few things about how to get help in such situations. I told her to contact her local St. Vincent de Paul which assists those in short-term financial need with help paying their rents or mortgages as well as for utilities and groceries.

Things worked out. Thank God I asked. But what if I hadn’t? And what if she hadn’t told me?

A couple of years back, I wrote about the importance of asking for help. Since then the world has been turned upside down financially, and this Christmas there are even more people in need in this nation. If you are one of them, don’t be afraid, ashamed or just plain too shy to ask for help.

God wants you to get help if you need it. In fact, if you don’t ask, you are doing yourself, God and the rest of the world a big disservice.

Here’s why. Answer these simple questions: Do you enjoy helping others? Do you grow in your spirit and in your relationship with God and others when you help? Of course you do. What would happen to you if others never allowed you to help them? That would be denying you all the grace that you receive through loving others.

You should be proud of your need. Because it allows people to help you, and enables God to work through them in your life, bestowing grace upon them as well.

So if you don’t allow others to help you, you are denying them their access to that same grace. And the only way that others really know you need help is if you ask for it.

God created us to live in community with each other. He designed us to need each other. I am not smart enough to understand everything God did and does, but I do know what is in the Bible. And the idea that we are created in the image of God and that all human life is sacred and innately valuable is irrefutable.

If all that is true, do you think that God wants you to disrespect yourself or subject yourself to abuse? Denying yourself the love and support of others who God works through is not respecting yourself and others.

Now all of this is not a rubber stamp for all those children out there to spend the next couple of weeks nagging their parents for all the toys their hearts desire. I am clearly talking about those who are in true human need reaching out to others.

And that also doesn’t mean you cannot give at the same time as you receive in whatever way you can. Though you may not believe it right now, you reaching out may allow someone else to talk about their needs, to share with you their feelings or simply to cultivate a new relationship or deepen an old one in a way that will help that person now or in the future.

For instance, a few weeks later I rushed out of the house without my wallet — and the coffee was on the house.

Merry Christmas!

Anyone who would like to contribute to the Society of St. Vincent de Paul may do so by calling (602) 850-6737. Those needing help this Christmas can contact their local parish SVdP

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October 16th

10 am

St. Rose’s Parent/Teen Picnic and Retreat

Good Shepherd Mission

45033 North 12th Street

New River, AZ

A Grand Canyon University Sponsored Event

October 24th

7 pm

St. Theresa’s Youth Group

St. Theresa Parish
5045 E. Thomas Road
Phoenix, AZ

A Grand Canyon University Sponsored Event

October 30th

Singles Talk

Mount Claret

4633 N. 54th Street

Phoenix, AZ

A Grand Canyon University Sponsored Event

November 8th

8 am

Seton High School

Featured Keynote to School Assembly

7 pm

Talk to Parents

1150 N Dobson Road

Chandler , AZ

A Grand Canyon University Sponsored Event

November 19-20

Overcoming Life’s 7 Common Tragedies Retreat

Bishop de Falco Retreat Center

2100 North Spring
Amarillo, TX
806-383-1811 

December 1st

7 pm

Holy Cross Youth Group

1244 S. Power Rd.

Mesa AZ

A Grand Canyon University Sponsored Event

December 4th

Advent Parish Mission/St. Rose’s

Good Shepherd Mission

45033 North 12th Street

New River, AZ

A Grand Canyon University Sponsored Event

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