One More Day Alive

A few months back my bed broke — OK, no jokes! That might be nothing more than a minor inconvenience for some, but for me it was one big challenge. And one I am glad I didn’t have to face alone.

That’s because I have battled anxiety and insomnia most of my life, so a broken bed inspires both of my lifelong challenges. To say I was a little agitated is an understatement. After three months of sleeping on the floor

I was losing it.

Adding insult to injury is that it’s hard to explain your troubles to anybody else because their first response is, “Just go buy a bed.”

Ugh. Not so easy. Here’s the problem: For insomniacs, all it takes is a little bit of discomfort and agitation to make it impossible to sleep. And of course, anxiety over finding the right bed makes it difficult to find the right bed since every time you lie down on one, you are anxious about whether or not you will be able to sleep on it. That anxiety makes you actually unable to sleep on it.

For all of you out there saying, “That’s crazy!” welcome to my world.

For those thinking my difficulty choosing a bed is somehow connected to my inability to choose a mate at 42, that’s an entirely different conversation.

Now I share this personal dilemma of mine with you for two reasons.

First, I want to give my friends and family a break from hearing about it, and you are the only ones left I can “entertain” with my situation.

The other reason is that it’s important for people to be honest, to be real and to talk about the “little” problems that sometimes don’t get talked about, so we all can all feel a little better and realize we are not alone in our varied mental anguishes.

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, some 64 million Americans regularly suffer from insomnia each year. The principal causes range from simple stress and tension to full-blown anxiety issues. I am clearly not alone.

Most of my friends and family know about my sleep issues, and my anxiety issues, which makes life a whole lot easier to deal with. That’s because they are constantly reaching out and trying to help, even if it’s with a joking jab or two from time to time.

As for dealing with my underlying insomnia and anxiety issues themselves, it’s very important for me to stick to schedules, to exercise regularly, to eat well, and pray a lot. But just talking about it makes it easier, turning it into something almost funny instead of maddening, which it can truly be at times. 

We all have different crosses to bear in life, and this is mine. But when I share it, it makes it easier for my friends and family to share them with me, and we all help each other carry our loads. 

Reach out to friends and family in whatever way you can, and you never know how they will be able to help.

That’s why, despite my honest and hard-fought efforts to buy a new bed (I have already bought and returned three that just didn’t work), I am currently sleeping on a mattress that a friend loaned me, which is doing the trick. 

You never know when a friend will be able to help you to rest your weary head, too.

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